Army Logic

You have to love Army logic. Here are two examples Gary told me yesterday. The first one is one of those “WHAT? And they think this keeps them safer?” The other one is amusing.

ARMY LOGIC ONE:

In an effort to mitigate the injuries and deaths due to IED’s the Army has come up with an extremely well thought out plan. When soldiers see a disabled vehicle – often used to plant IED’s-- on the side of the road, they are to dismount their heavily armored humvees and push said vehicle with their bare hands to the nearest police checkpoint. Stunning logic. Isn’t it?

ARMY LOGIC TWO:

PFC Moron (names have been changed to protect the retarded) passed out in the supply room from huffing canned air. As a result of this mishap, any soldier ranked E-6 and below is no longer allowed to possess canned air. Rather, they must go to their Platoon Sergeant (PSG) and request canned air. Said PSG then goes to the supply room and obtains canned air from… wait for it… wait for it… PFC MORON!!! Yes, folks, PFC Moron will now be in charge of the company’s canned air as he has shown his complete competence in the correct usage of this product.