I woke up in a good mood today. I even made breakfast burritos for everyone. Strangely, since my surgery I've cooked quite a bit. I think it's because I love food and just want to be around it.
THEN.... I got pissed off. About Drew. Vicky's L-O-S-E-R boyfriend. He doesn't live here anymore; however, not a day goes by that something he did in the past or is doing now doesn't piss me off. Today's thing was that I went to throw something away in Gunner's bedroom and realized his trashcan was missing. I asked Vicky where it was. It is in her bathroom. WHY? Because she had to throw hers away. WHY? Because that lame-ass-stupid-piece-of-shit-mother-fucking Drew threw up in hers a while back because he drank too much. Again, I went off on Vicky about what a loser he is. I know I shouldn't do that. I don't need one single comment from ANYONE telling me not to do it. I know this. I just can't get over the fact my daughter has fallen in love with and plans to marry the world's biggest loser. I don't even want to type anymore about him. He's such a damn loser. I can't stand him.
To make it worse, now that I'm in a bad mood I can't get out of it. It reminds me of all the other things making me in a bad mood. Here's my laundry list:
* We have to take Vicky and Gunner to Dallas to catch a flight to Seattle to see my niece's graduation. I don't want to take that long of a drive or spend the money. But then again, I'm excited for my family to see Gunner.
* Vicky cleans my house in exchange for me filling up her tank once a pay period. Today it was $55!!!! I can get a professional cleaning service in here for about that who does a better job.
* My FRG. FRG is the Army's idea of a family support group. HA! Not a single member from my old or new FRG has bothered to call or write to see how I'm doing after my surgery. Oh but let someone have a baby and we're all supposed take three homemade meals to their house to freeze so the new mother has it easy.
* Gary. He's great. Yes. But he's sitting on his ass about some things for work. This means he'll NEVER get promoted.
* The Army. I hate the BS.
* My friends from PW have all left it to go to a new board. The new board is nice and all but I miss PW!! We all were there for three years. We all were like, "ohhh we're never leaving." Then BAM in less than a week everyone jumps ship.
* Myself. I feel like I don't do enough exercise. Like I won't lose the weight fast enough. My crankiness. Everything. That and I'm just not pretty. I used to think I was fat with a pretty face. Not so much anymore.
* Drew. Why does my daughter have to be in love with a loser?
* Vicky. Why can't she have any motivation.
* Me. Why did I raise my daughter so poorly.
This concludes my pity party.
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3 comments:
I'm sorry Lin .... for everything.
I dated a looser guy and my mom yelled and told me all the time .... until I could "see for myself" what a looser he was I stayed with him, against everything my mom kept telling me over and over again. Since then, since my eyes were opened by that, I tend to listen to her opinions a little more, cause I figured out that she had a good point and she did speak from the heart and experience.
I hope your day gets better, mine's been kinda crappy too ... its friday though, thats gotta count for something. :S
(((HUGS))) I hope you know how much you mean to me! You're a great friend!!! Luv ya!!
First of all, you did NOT raise your daughter poorly! I think sometimes it's hard to see them making bad choices because we want their lives to be perfect, but we can't protect them from everything. Some lessons in life just have to be learned through experience.
I hope today is better Lin, and just know that even through your bad days, I love ya and will do all I can to see you through them!
"Lean on me..when youre not strong..and I'll be your friend.." lol
but seriously. :)
I love you babe and couldn't fathom how difficult the entire life change of things...
As stupid as this sounds, it really makes me realize how well my mom meant for me... I feel like I'm reading what she would have written, just a bit different. I know I wasn't a stellar example of all the hard work my parents put into us, but it shows up a bit on occasion. I do love how much you care for Vicky.
Lots of big hugs to you sweetheart...
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