I can't get this off my mind

On July 4, when I went to the local ER the doctor there was horrible. Dr. E is his name. He's a civilian doctor. His bedside manner was less than good. In fact, it was horrible. That's not what bothers me. That's not what drives me to tears. It's the violation I feel over the rectal exam he performed on me. First, it was rough. VERY ROUGH. You know how when you have your womanly physical, the doctor is gentler and sometimes murmurs "I'm sorry" or something like that? This jackass didn't even do that. He just rammed his fingers up my ass and wiggled them around. It hurt. It was degrading. To this day my bum hurts. He didn't say one word during or after. I have no clue why he did it. He said to check for bleeding. BLEEDING OF WHAT? I had already told him I was vomiting blood and crapping it out... what was he checking for? I feel, without a doubt, this procedure was done as a form of punishment and humiliation. I have filed a report with the hospital, but I doubt anything will be done about it. I'm sure they'll claim it was medically necessary. I will NEVER go back to the ER at BJACH. EVER. Worst of all, no one understands. Gary just looks at me like I'm crazy. In the meantime, I can't stop thinking about it, and I feel violated.