Monday, August 21, 2006

I Just Want to Scream

* My little brother is paying me back over $5000. Great. But he's been so busy he's not yet got it sent off. It's stressful waiting for it.

* Gary deploys tomorrow. He STILL doesn't have his orders. I have no clue what time he leaves. That bothers me.

* Vicky was supposed to pay me back $70 today. She isn't going to because they paid Drew's mom back first. Gary was going to take that money w/him. Sure, I have the money but it's just another stress to deal with. I'm trying to budget. It's hard when people don't pay you back when they say they will.

* My little sister is flat broke. Why? Because she does stupid money things. She needs to borrow $500. I reluctantly agreed. Now she's HOUNDING me asking when I'll send it. I don't have a spare $500 sitting around. I'm waiting for my brother (see #1) to pay me back.

* I had an ultrasound done on my gall bladder on Friday. They were supposed to call back w/the results Friday afternoon. It's 1 pm Monday and no call. No one knows anything.

* The nurse liaison at the post hospital is out-sourcing me to a psychiatrist for my medication. Last week I was diagnosed with dysthymia (ongoing depression basically) and another diagnosis I refuse to mention online. She hasn't called back yet with the information. It'll be at least another week, I'm sure, before they even start me on medication. It takes weeks for medication to start taking effect. IN THE MEAN TIME I JUST WANT TO SCREAM.

* Gary's deploying tomorrow. I don't know when he leaves. It probably seems like no big deal, but I don't know if I have to leave him at 6am, 10am, etc. Every minute, every second counts.

* Every noise, every sound, everything is making me want to jump out of my skin. I'm irritable and crabby and I can't stand myself so I fail to see how anyone else can stand me.


Susan Davis said...

I hope he doesn't get those orders at all. That's such a tease... cruel.

And that's just stupid that they paid his mom back first as if you didn't need it. Hello, your soldier is leaving and needs cash... sooooooooooo inconsiderate.

Carie said...

scream...use a pillow or whatever...go for it, I have done it a number of times...

I am sorry they are playing around with your time with him, its cruel and mean and they should have more compassion for the fact you want to spend everyone of thiose moments with him...its not fair...

I spent yesterday at the hospital, they gave me all kinds of shots and then an IV, missed the vein and filled my arm with fluid, man does it hurt, hospitals suck don't they?

I know theres not much I can say to truely help out, but I do offer my support, fully and unconditionally...and my ear for listening...I am always here...

Stacey said...

I agree, SCREAM!

It's ok.

It might make you feel a little better to read my lastest blog entry. It took a LOT of gusts for me to post that.

Cap'sDeej said...

I've been reading for a week or so now, not really knowing what to say. Tonight I felt compelled to say something.

I feel drawn to you - I too am fighting a weight issue, depression and loss in my life. There are many parallels between us but alas - all that proves is that we're both human. :)

I'm sorry your soldier is shipping out. I don't know what I'd do without my Cap - I hope I never have to find out.

From what I've read, I think that you are amazingly strong. You are going through so much and you're still here, still fighting and you're reaching out. I admire that.

I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but you've got my support and my thoughts are with you.


Christine said...

You sound a lot like me. I spend much of my day worrying about all the lose ends in my life. I hope everything works out for you and soon!

Mimi said...

I understand what you are going through, I don't have the medical issues, but Alex has been dealing with depression and ADHD, but he truly has bi-polar, yuck. I have very close family members with mental illness that really has affected our lives, but now they are great and even work for the state. I understand you not wanting to tell all of your medical history, but if you ever want to e-mail me, I can go into detail over quite a few things that have happened. Believe me. We thought one night last spring that we were going to have to take Al to have him admitted for physc. help. Again, I'll talk, you don't have to tell me anything, but I do understand. I am also so sorry about the waiting game with Gary.

Anonymous said...

Awww..your hubby is leaving. Sorry to hear it.