Thursday, October 12, 2006

Gary has been cheating

On a website. I'm at a loss for what to do. It's all been through email. But it was sexual talk. And it all started 4 days after arriving in Afghanistan. I want to die. I want God to just take me. It is payback, I know for my sins.

I wish I could get away. Go away. I have nowhere to go to just mend.

I had a sticker on my car, a magnet that said I LOVE MY SOLDIER. I took it off and flung it. Yeah, I littered.

My wedding ring is in a jewelry box.

When I met him he said he could never cheat. The reason he gave was so simple, it made me love him. He said he liked a close shave. If he cheated, he wouldn't be able to look himself in the eye in the mirror, thus no close shave. I wonder how he's shaving these days.

9 comments:

Mimi said...

Lin, it's not you, you cannot blame yourself or anything you have done. Did he tell you this info about the cheating, or did you find out on your own? I've been through it, I know it hurts, but maybe you can work it out. I'm here for you.

Stacey said...

Oh, Lin. I'm so sorry. Please dont do anything drastic.
Are you sure..I mean reliabe data?

Carie said...

Ohhh man...I am so sorry...last year I found out Ken had an adult friend finder profile, it broke my heart, he told me he had it before we were togather and only went on to see the pictures, it didn't help the trust was gone...we talked alot and I have had to deal with a lot inside, but we worked through it, but if I had found emails I am not sure I would have...we are all here for you...I am just so sorry you are having to deal with this on top of so much...if you need me email me and I will get in touch with you...keeping you in my thoughts

Susan Davis said...

My goodness... I hate cheating and cheaters... and I feel your pain. Wow, and after all you've acheived and been through... after all the pain you've went through because of his deployment... you stood by that cheater through thick and thin. I HATE IT FOR YOU! I'm so sorry. I wish I could literally take the pain from you and dump it somewhere. But you know this: time will make it better. Right, whatever. Not for now at least. I'm pissed. Sorry.

You have a blessed day. I'm going to go be mad and upset now. I can imagine how you're feeling.

Susan Davis said...

Hey Lin, Oliver wanted to trply also. He's as shocked and upset as I am. Here's what he had to say:

Lin,

I'm sorry this happened to you. How did you find out about Gary cheating? You really need to save any proof you have so incase your marriage dissolves, you'll have proof it's his fault. You know we're here for you and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless.

Oliver

Susan Davis said...

I know, right. I remember you telling us, your blogging world, that although you 2 didn't have sex for long periods that there was no doubt in your mind that he was being faithful to you. That is what pisses me off so much at him. It's like, to me, oliver would never cheat... but what if he hoodwinked me all this time, and what if it happens? I'd be just as shocked as you. For someone to take someone's complete trust and rip their hearts out... oooooh that's horrible! I'd not attacking him as a person... just his actions. Maybe some of him as a person. But still, I feel however you feel. Let me know if we get happy anytime soon. Til then, I'm hurt right along with you.

Donna said...

I'm so sorry. I've been through something similar and it is absolutely devestating. So wish it were simple to walk through, but its not. I pray you find comfort in the Lord, that he writes on your heart how beautiful and loved you are by HIM! It doesn't take the pain away but it does give hope. So sorry you are hurting. you've accomplished so much it seems, don't quit! Praying for you. fyi...i literally couldn't breathe when I found out...I wanted it so bad to be a dream.....so sorry!

Deana said...

I am sooo sorry Lin, that is not right, I hope you guys can get it worked out if that is the best thing. Hugs.

Carrie said...

What a dink. Hope everything works out.