Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Lesson on Judging

When Gary was in Korea, he would tell me about "drinky girls." The best way I can think to describe them would be women who weren't usually prostitutes, but they bordered on it. They worked in bars and would charm the soldiers into buying drinks. I'm not exactly sure how it all worked, but the soldiers would pay them $20 or so and buy drinks. The girls would keep them company. Sit on their laps, etc. The drinky girls are rarely Korean. They are usually Filipino or Russian. Basically, they are owned by the bar in which they work.

Of course there are the instances when soldiers would fall in love with and marry these drinky girls. I would always laugh and think what a dumb move that was for the soldier. I mean they just wanted to come to "The Land of the Big PX."

On Saturday Vicky brought a girl she works with over for this party I was having. Lena is Russian. I asked Vicky if her husband had met her in Korea and Vicky said yes. I laughed and said, "Oh my GOD!! She was a DRINKY GIRL!" Vicky said she knew Lena worked in the bar in Korea and didn't really hide it but would act sort of ashamed. She said Lena was really sweet and modest.

When Lena walked in, I was very polite. Through the day I realized she IS very sweet. Very modest. Very caring. Very everything I like in a person. Then I thought about what it might have been like for her in Russia, and why she might have left. What it must have been like in Korea. Vicky told me she had to sneak out of the country and leave all of her things there -- even though she was married to a US soldier, she was still "owned." By the time Lena left, I was feeling very guilty for judging her and everyone else like her.

I know I need to be less judgmental. This was an example where I judged someone and I was so wrong to have done so. Everyday I'm going to try so hard not to judge. I think that is one of my biggest flaws.


Nobody special said...

Everyone makes assumptions about people, but you didn't hold on to those assumptions. You let her personality and actions speak louder than your preconcieved ideas, and allowed your view on her to change! I think that is what it is all about.

Lin, you really are a good person. :)

Susan Davis said...

Yeah I agree with her, Lin... you allowed your preception to be modified by actually getting to know her. If you shunned her or did not allow yourself to get to know her based on your view of a drinky girl, then that would be something to work on...

But you gave her a chance... come on... that's all we ever need!

Anonymous said...

Wow. what a good lesson. We could all learn from that.

Carie said...

:o) i agree with Angel...alot of people judge others and never give them a chance to prove them wrong, but you were open to her and let all the great qualities come out...as always you are amazing :o) you always give me something to think about :o)

Deana said...

I think that is is something we all need to remind ourselves.