Wednesday, July 18, 2007

So Frustrated...

My sister got pregnant last year with a man named Gordon. Amber was separated, sort of, from her husband of nearly 18 years. Paul, her hubby, was deployed to Iraq at the time. Gordon was married and "maybe" separated from his wife at the time. He had said they were separated for years, but truthfully she lived in Montana while he was stationed in Georgia. To this day, I have serious doubts they were separated.

So Amber gets pregnant. She and Gordon have the must fucked up relationship. They're on again, off again. I make no beans about the fact I don't like this man. I am polite about it to my sister but the fact is she has changed SO much since being with him. He is also very self-centered and selfish. The biggest thing really pissing me off right now is the fact that he won't put the baby on DEERS. That is what you have to register your dependents with for military personnel. Oh yeah, Gordon is a Chief Warrant Officer (3) in the Army. An OFFICER, folks.

Anyhoooo.... So Gordon is deployed now to Iraq. All he does is whine about how horrible it is. OK, I'm sure it is. But the fact is this man is a freaking POGUE. For those who don't know, this basically means he's a desk jockey. Yeah, yeah they're important. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. Seriously, I do. My husband, an infantryman, has respect for other jobs. He says that every MOS (job) is important in supporting others. I agree. HOWEVER, as a POGE (sometimes POG which translates as Position Other than Grunt), he really doesn't leave the FOB at all. He once told Amber that he was sooo stressed out as he had to leave the FOB.. wait for it... wait for it... ONCE A MONTH!! Yeah, that's right folks, once a month. And to top it off, one time he was thirsty for... and sit down before reading this as it will break your fucking heart... A WHOLE HOUR! Yeah, an hour. Why? He was on a well-guarded, heavily armed convoy from his FOB to Baghdad. The jackass forgot his canteen. Uhm ok. He whined to my sister for an hour about this. My sister looked at me in tears telling me of this horrid treatment her lovely man received. I try, really I do, I try... and I tried then.. but I couldn't help it. I said very sarcastically, "Wow, how did he manage? I mean once Gary was on a mission supposed to last a day but lasted three. They ran out of water, despite bringing extra. The medics had them drinking the IV solutions they use to hydrate heat casualties. Gary said it was disgusting. But wow, Gordon was thirsty for an hour?" Oh oh oh.. and one time, one time folks, Gordo was awoken in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to fix a generator. Yes, you read that right. Again, cruelties, no? This man whines incessantly about his hardships. What the fuck ever!! He never misses the opportunity to tell my sister, in explicit detail, of a rocket landing in the FOB. Or if their FOB is mortared. WHAT?! What kind of soldier does that? Seriously, the soldiers I know and respect don't do this. They know it's part of being a soldier. Gary told me after returning from Afghanistan that numerous times he would be talking to me on the phone while they were being mortared. I never knew. He had learned to identify how close they were, etc.

Don't get me wrong. I do not expect every soldier to be as stoic as Gary. Gary is too stoic. But Gordon is just a loser in every sense of the word. He disgraces the uniform. He disgraces officers. He is a disgrace. He does not hold himself to a higher standard.

Now here is why I'm ranting. Gordon didn't tell his family that David was born... the child he and Amber had. Instead, his older brother did. AFTER David was here. Why were his parents not told? Because they're "good Christian folks" who would be offended by the fact their son knocked up another woman. Uhm.. yeah ok I'm not ever going to be described as a "good Christian folk" but yeah I was offended too... they both betrayed their spouses. His parents decided they would forgive and accept this. FORGIVE AND ACCEPT?!! This is a baby!!! Not a speeding ticket!!! This family has done nothing to support David financially, Gordon has minimally but that's another story. Today I get an email from my sister that she's rushing off to Charlotte, NC where her future father-in-law is on his death bed. She is so upset. So distraught. Uhm.. WHY? I'm not being callous (or maybe I am) but this is a man who (a) barely accepts you and your child; (b) spent the two weeks you were there in May comparing you to Gordon's ex-wife and (c) A man you DO NOT KNOW. I am very sad to hear this man is losing his life. I am. I just think my sister is secretly happy because there is a chance that if Gordon's father dies, Gordon can come home on emergency leave. Then I'll hear from here how awful it is with Gordon.

Oh and when I asked her to come here and visit me while Gary was at JRTC for three weeks in early August.. she couldn't. Why? She couldn't afford the trip. But she can afford a trip to see people she doesn't really know? doesn't really like? Good Christians who aren't offended that their son, the honorable hero doesn't have their GRANDCHILD enrolled in a program that gives him medical benefits??? My sister even went so far as to ask me if Gary and I would take guardianship of David ( the baby) so he could be Gary's dependent and be enrolled in DEERS!!! I told her yes, absolutely. However, David would need to come live with us. She balked, of course.

I'm done. It was rambling. It was disjointed. I swore. But dammit I'm SO FRUSTRATED with my sister and her choices. And the effects it has on my precious nephew

1 comment:

lorraina said...

omg....sisters! i know all about sister stuff. i've decided to turn a blind eye and keep my mouth shut. Well i said decided but in reality thats hard to actually do, so now i just try hard to overlook her follies and love her anyway. Well i think you're a nice person and i can relate easily to you. Loved reading your blog, except for the things i did'nt understand like FOB; is it an army thing? I live in Canada; dont know any of the abrevs. Didnt understand the pic i thought was your kids but caption said neice and grandaughter but pic clearly shows you as a young mom. oh well its ok,i'll keep reading you....btw re Katrina and the people of LA...i was never so choked in my life when i found out that Canada and all the people here did to help went completely unnoticed by the people there. We were the first to respond (just like 9-11)and they wouldnt even let us into the country for several days....we're your friendly next door neighbor! We sent virtually planeloads of volunteers; Drs, nurses, vets,police,etc. and planeloads of goods and millions of $ from fundraising everywhere, everyday. We brought lots of people and their pets and stray animals here to stay with us as though they were our own people. I found out later that the word Canada had never passed the lips of any reports there....ever! They never heard of us and the help we sent. It was so odd for me considering all that we did to understand this. But actually, thats typical, Americans think that they are all there is...all they hear about, all they care about, like they are the world. However,it was news here everyday, all day, they were on our minds constantly for a long time and many prayers sent up for those people. No, we didnt want or expect thanks; just a little achknowledgment or notice i guess. Lots of us gave until it hurt. Yeah, i feel differently about them now too and hope no more disasters happen cuz i wont be there to give anymore. Many people of other countries feel bitter re the States and their shenanigans, not just Canucks. But oh well, its ok, maybe you dont know about us either; i know from reading blogs that not many Americans know us,our system, where we're located or care.
When Jay Leno asks people on the street they usually guess we're somewhere below Mexico or so far north we live in igloos, eat walrus and have 'puters carved from whale blubber and/or ice. Its sad, but then thats the way life is. Sorry for going off on such a rant. Sometimes i get started and can't stop!