Thursday, August 02, 2007

Army Wifery

I'm not a good Army Wife. I am not the tough-as-nails, never let 'em see you sweat girl. Far from it. If the sink backs up, or worse yet the toilet, I cry. Yeah, cry. Sob even. I call frantically anyone I can think of that might be able to plunge. God forbid the car break down. Mr. Goodwrench doesn't have enough hankies to dry those tears. Basically, anything hubby handles when he is here I'm clueless about. Sometimes on purpose.

I can't pack, move, unpack and be settled into a new home in a week's time. I don't know every single resource the military has for me and my Army Wife sisters.

I don't grin and bear it when my husband brings home news that he's deploying. I don't roll up my sleeves and declare cheerfully, "Why how lovely! Surely it is terrible that you're going to Iraq, but by gosh this gives me the opportunity to try some new cookie recipes to send you and the other lonely soldiers." No, I cry. I swear. I declare my hate for all things Army.

Long nights because of ranges? DAMMIT! Getting called in on weekends because another soldier got a DUI. FUCK! Not making it home for dinner yet again because your Company Commander decided at 5:00pm that he wanted to do an inspection? WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?

Yeah. I'm far from a good Army Wife.

Good thing I give awesome blow jobs.


Mimi said...

Wow, something we have in common, I too, give awesome blow jobs, lol. I'm not always the most sympathetic wife when it comes to hubbies job, and I work at the same place. Last week, our plumbing was all screwed up and we couldn't get a plumber, so, yeah, I cried like there was no tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that what being an awesome wife is all about? Blow jobs??

lol...funny post, enjoyed the read!

Carie said...

I can't imagine how hard being an army wife is, I met Ken after he retired from the Navy...but as women we all know how to make them smile ;)