Sunday, September 17, 2006

Random Things

* I think I'm losing my mind. Seriously. I yelled at Gunner today. YELLED. Not raised my voice. YELLED. That's pretty wrong. I suck as a mom.

* I love my PW Board (no longer on PW), but sometimes people on there can be a bit harsh on some people for minor things and then let things other people do totally blow over... things that are much worse.

* I am so tired, yet all I do is sleep.

* I finally met Susan and Oliver. They're two of the nicest people I've ever met. Cute kiddos too.

* I miss Gary to the point I don't know how I'm going to make it through two more months let alone another deployment.

* I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I've been reading a lot about it. There's a checklist of like nine things. To "qualify" (ha) you have to exhibit five of the traits. I ring in at all nine. I was diagnosed with this years ago, but I ignored it, apparently it didn't ignore me.

* My weight has reached a plateau. I've not lost any weight in a week.

* I am beyond lonely.


Stacey said...

Umm, your human. Dont think I will lie and say I have never yelled. I feel horrible for it, and it is something that I work at EVERYDAY.
I bet you are lonely, I would be too. Am sure the weight will start to come off again, maybe change up your diet to different foods if possible.

Susan Davis said...

I enjoyed our visit.

I'm so blind with sadness that all I can think to do is cry, try to wait for a phone call, and cry. I really pray it gets better.

hyka's mess said...

I yell too ... as hard as I try not to, I still do. I can't imagine how much you miss Gary ... they say absense makes the heart grow fonder .... are you getting out and walking still? Maybe if you and Gunner went for a walk it would help not only lift your spirits but help kick the weight loss back in ... just curious ...

Deana said...

I doubt there is any parent who has never lost it and yelled before. Its hard when you have kids who push all the time. I think you are human, plus you don't have Gary home to help with the slack. I hope the next two months go by as quickly as they can.
As far as PW I must have missed something but this is the second post, so I am guessing there is a feeling of things being messed up, I hope things get better.

Mimi said...

I've yelled, it doesn't happen very often, they know that madder I am, the quietter I get. I'm sure you miss Gary and even though you have friends online, it doesn't make up for having someone in the flesh. As far as the weight, maybe the new meds they put you on, stalled things.