Dreams

I had a very odd dream last night. I woke up thinking about it. In my dream I was a medical student and I was going to deliver a baby. I had never done it before. As far as I can remember, I hadn't had any training at all. I was just a random medical student. The woman I was going to deliver the baby for was having problems, but not severe ... and there was a woman doctor there to help me. I was very hesitant to put on the gloves and do the internal exam, but I did and I felt the head of the baby. Then for whatever reason the doctor supervising me said something about the woman having issues. I remember the doctor leaving the room and I was trying to keep my patient calm. I took her blood pressure and it was 180/55. Other non-essential details of the dream occurred but then the doctor came back in, I did another internal exam and the patient gave birth to a new baby girl.

So I was getting some coffee and all of a sudden the meaning of the dream came to me!!! There is the school of thought that everyone/thing in your dream represents you. In my dream I was the doctor guiding me to delivering the new baby. I was actually the "me" delivering the baby as well as the patient giving birth. Interestingly, there was another person in my dream who was there but very much in the peripheral I'll call that person ME rather than me. The 180/55 blood pressure is easy to figure out... 180 = the weight I want to get to. The 55 is the number of pounds I am away from hitting that goal. The doctor me was guiding the "old" me to deliver the baby girl -- the me I'll be when I'm done losing weight. The new baby girl ... well that's obvious. Interestingly, the ME ... the person who was in the shadows but very much a presence is the ME I'm working towards.

The dream signifies my life right now.. struggling to let go of the extra physical weight and giving birth to a new Lin. I am at a crossroads right now. I don't have to make the decisions yet but do I stay in my marriage, or do I leave. Do I work, or stay at home. Things like that.

Oh and one more interesting note -- the baby's cord was wrapped around her neck.. but the cord was very thin and transparent. It wasn't anything serious. It's as if I am telling myself that whatever I feel "choking" me isn't as thick as an umbilical cord. That my life (which is what the umbilical cord is to a baby) isn't as strangling as I think it is ....

Interesting. Very interesting.